Firstly lets start by saying Happy new year everyone, it’s going to be a good one! I’m currently sat waiting for the ‘new year, new me’ bullsh*t posts that we all tend to write every year, in fact I’ve seen a few already but what does that phrase even mean? It’s not a new you because you’re still the same person as you were last year.. right? Right, however it does mean that they are willing to make a change and I guess that’s pretty good going. Every year I set myself goals, whether that be something simple or something slightly more challenging. I know the ‘new year, new me’ thing is a little bit (a lot) cliché but I’m gonna be ‘that girl’. 2018 I have high hopes, I hope to challenge my anxiety to the point where I can walk into a shop no problem, do my shopping & walk back out again without a panic attack. Simple to some, really difficult for me. I don’t know why and writing it down just makes me realise how stupid it sounds but this year I need to challenge myself. Over the past say 6 months I’ve really struggled with my anxiety and it doesn’t just affect me, it affects my whole family. I can’t keep staying home all day, waiting for my partner to get in before we go out, I can’t keep asking my other half to ‘pop in the shop for me’ because now Its got to the point where I haven’t done it for so long that its abnormal to me and even the simplest things make me panic.
2018 is going to be all about getting out & about, exploring, taking on new challenges and working my absolute arse off. I’m going to find motivation (somewhere) and eat better, cut down on caffeine, work hard with my blog and most of all try my hardest to beat my anxiety and focus on my family. I can’t help but feel like I’m holding Alyssia back by staying at home and letting my anxiety win. I have a car, I have the freedom to go out and do whatever I want so why am I stopping myself? Alyssia will be 2 next month (oh my god, lets not talk about this – emotional mama over here) and I want to spend as much time with her as possible because one day it wont just be the two of us.
I know I CAN do this and this year I’m going to prove it to myself. I am hoping to write about my anxiety a little bit more on here as a way of documenting my progress & as a way of helping others who might be going through the same thing. Anxiety is horrible and I will not let it get me down anymore.
2018 is going to be great, let’s do this.