We are back with week #15 of the #YoungMumsProject. This week we are joined by the lovely Maggie from The Mum Feels.
My name is Maggie, my fiancé’s name is Craig and our little boy is called Oliver. He is 14 months old.
Q1. Can you describe your personal experience of life as a young mum?
My personal experience of life as a young mum has been daunting, uncertain, but also incredibly wonderful and rewarding. I often feel out of my depth and not as experienced as other mums. My little boy is often quite poorly so I think that also contributes to feeling this way.
Q2. How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant?
I had previously been told that I may not be able to conceive so after the shock wore off I was elated. Initially, it was a definitely an ‘Oh shit!’ moment – I was also on the pill. I had not long started a new job so my head was whirring around with all sorts of worries – finance, maternity leave, timing – but in my heart I was scared but excited.
Q3. Do you feel like life has been harder because you had children at a young age?
I feel like my life is different to the majority of other mum’s (regardless of age) as my little boy has lots of medical problems, learning difficulties and will probably be disabled. He’s yet to roll, crawl etc and can’t do a lot of things that other babies younger or his age can do. I feel like if I was older I would possibly be in a more stable position to raise a child and have more life experience which would help. On the flip side, I have more energy to do things now so who knows 🙂
Q4. Did you ever feel judged by anyone? If so, how did you deal with it?
Fortunately, nothing comes to mind.
Q5. Do you think there are any advantages to being a younger mum?
Adaptability I think comes with age. If I was older I think I would be a lot more set in my ways and not have as much energy.
Q6. What are the best and worst things about being a young mum?
I feel like 20’s is SUCH bizarre age group. I have friends that are out every weekend getting wasted, and friends that have a mortgage and are getting married. I can feel like I’m missing out sometimes and the occasional night out would be nice, but I am a ‘home bird’ and am take comfort in that security of having a family at home. I think the biggest adjustment is the responsibility that comes with being a parent and nothing can prepare you for that.
Q7. How do you think we can challenge the stigma that surrounds young mums?
I think society needs to stop putting a label on everything and that would help a great deal. Age doesn’t define your capability of parenting – the love, time and effort you put into your child does.
Q8. What are the main issues that young mums have to deal with, and how do you think they could be better supported?
I think people thinking you haven’t got a clue what you’re doing or that they know better is an issue. Don’t get me wrong, I’m more than happy to take advice from people and genuinely appreciate it. But you don’t always have to take heed of it – I feel that should be respected as much as you respect the person for giving you advice. You shouldn’t be judged for not doing something a particular way someone suggests if you’re comfortable in your own ways.
Q9. Do you think that the support for young mums has improved over time?
Not sure x
Q10. If you were approached by a young mum asking for advice, what advice would you give them and why?
I would tell them to always follow their gut instinct, not to ever allow someone to make them feel inferior and to have faith in their capabilities and judgement. Hold your head high 🙂
If you want to know more about Maggie and her family, you can find her here.
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