The title of this post makes me feel a little selfish, a little bit like I didn’t do it properly the first time round but we all know that when you have your first baby, you are thrown in at the deep end and have absolutely no idea what you’re doing. You just kind of wing it and hope for the best, I have learnt a lot since having my daughter and I wanted to share a few things that I would like to do differently this time around both during my pregnancy & after having him/her…
Announce my pregnancy later on
This one has already happened, I’ve ticked it off the list. With my first baby, my pregnancy came as a shock to everybody as soon as I told one person, the whole world knew and that is not what I wanted when I was only 8 weeks. I wanted to wait at least until the 12 week scan but unfortunately things didn’t go my way. This time around I want to make sure that things do go my way, life is different now and I am in a place where I can make my own decisions and stick by them. This time around we actually waited until I was 14 weeks pregnant to announce it to our families, this is something I feel so much better about already.
Embrace my pregnancy
I’ve touched on this slightly on the blog before, I was just 16 when I found out I was pregnant with my first baby and I’ll be honest, I was embarrassed… scared, excited.. the lot. But even though I was ready in my mind (after I had got over the initial shock).. I had only just left school and It really wasn’t the idealist of times to be having a baby. I loved my baby, I very much wanted my baby but I couldn’t help but feel a little bit like everyone was staring at me and my bump. I’ve never actually had any nasty comments from people in the street so I don’t know why I felt that way but I think feeling paranoid and like everyone has their eyes on you is something that most pregnant women feel regardless of their age. This time around I really want to embrace my pregnancy, I will post photo’s and share my pregnancy updates in hope that it’ll help me get my confidence back and it will also help others who are feeling the same way.
This time around I will buy less, not because we still have things left over from our first baby because we don’t. But because there is just so much stuff that you don’t need. There are things we never used and probably won’t use again for example the changing unit, it’s ideal for some families but for us it just didn’t work and we didn’t use it. I could hardly stand up after giving birth and my stomach muscles also collapsed after having Alyssia so there was no way I could stand up long enough to change a nappy, I found it much easier doing it on the bed, the sofa or even just a changing mat on the floor. This time I have written myself a list and am going to stick to it. I’m not going to splash out on things we don’t need and I am going to make sure that the things we do buy, last long enough.
Have a Birth Plan
In my first pregnancy, I didn’t really have a plan. I wanted a water birth in the midwife led birthing centre.. the thought of going to labour ward really scared me, I don’t really know why because I ended up there and was fine. Unfortunately my birth didn’t go to plan as such, my waters broke at home and my labour progressed very quickly, we only just made it to the hospital on time which was incredibly scary for us all.. you can read more about my labour and delivery here. This time around I have my daughter to worry about too, I need to make sure we have plans for her in place and I also need to make sure I have a back up plan if I do end up having a home birth especially as the more children you have, the quicker the births (not always, but more often than not).. I would really love to try hypnobirthing this time around, when I first mentioned this to my partner.. he laughed.. I think most men do but I have done some research and think that it will really help me get through labour especially as I did so well the first time despite panicking.. this time I would love to be able to feel relaxed (as relaxed as I can be) during labour and actually enjoy my birth rather than panic about what ‘could’ happen..
Respect my own wishes
With my first, there were a lot of things that I didn’t like that happened without me really having a choice. After giving birth to an 8lb baby with no pain relief at all and being whisked away to theatre to be stitched up afterwards I was in no state of mind for visitors.. I didn’t want visitors, I didn’t want anybody but my partner, my mum and my new baby. I was overwhelmed and still hadn’t even had the chance to spend 1:1 time with my baby but I felt like I was wrong for feeling that way. Family came to visit, everyone had a hold.. and I just remember everyone laughing and smiling while I was there feeling numb. I was exhausted, I had been up all night, in labour all morning and in theatre all afternoon.. I just wanted to sleep. This time, I will have just the one birth partner so that I have childcare for Alyssia whilst I am in labour. I really want to enjoy my new baby before sharing him/her with anybody and I want my daughter to be the first to meet our new addition, I think this is only fair. I would love to be left alone for a few days just until we are settled before having visitors.
This is something I never did with Alyssia, she was easy to put down in a bouncer and would happily be left alone but this time around I can imagine its going to be quite hard to put the baby down and get on with things as well as running around after a 2 and a half year old. I feel like baby wearing would help me be able to get on with housework rather than being stuck to the sofa and would be helpful for when we are out and about. If anyone has any recommendations on the right baby wraps / slings, I would love to know them so I can look into it a little more. This time I feel more prepared, even though I am only 15 weeks and we haven’t bought a single thing yet.. I feel like I am mentally and emotionally more prepared for this baby. I’ve got everything planned out and would just love for this pregnancy to run as smoothly as possible without any drama. I don’t feel panicky, I feel excited and I can’t wait for our new addition to arrive but for now I’m just going to enjoy and embrace my pregnancy.