Welcome back to week #5 of the #YoungMumsProject. This week we are joined by the lovely Lynsey.
Hi, I’m Lynsey. I’m 19 years old I have a little girl called Lilly Rose shes 6 months old, I’m a single mum to my beautiful little girl 🙂
I found out I was pregnant with Lilly when I was 17, the day I found out me and Lilly’s dad were visiting London. We were actually planning on moving there and buying a house, I was planning on going to university to study sociology. When we found out I was so scared but so excited. Ryan was amazing, even though I was going mental at him (not that it was his fault but he was just there to take it out on) I still was freaking out because it wasn’t what I had planned! We spoke about kids and having a family but I did want to go to university and have a career first.
My pregnancy got really hard and my emotions became really difficult to deal with, I turned 18 3 weeks after I found out so i felt like I missed out on so much. All of my friends were going out and I was sat there watching TV every night.. but then I knew I was going to have a beautiful little girl and realised that I didn’t want that life anymore. When I was 9 weeks pregnant I went to Magaluf and it was the sh*ttest holiday of my life. I went with some friends and Ryan and that really put pressure on our relationship because he wanted to go out and get drunk but I couldn’t so we basically argued all the time. Then things got harder and we both ended up drifting apart and my mental health took over, being hormonal and heavily pregnant was too much for me and when I was 40 weeks pregnant I moved out and had no where to live.
I went into labour at 41+2 and was in hospital with Lilly for a while. In which we decided to try to try with our relationship again but it didn’t work. Me and Lilly ended up living in shared housing/supported housing for young mums for 5 months and that was really difficult. I felt like a failure but we got through it and now we have finally settled into our own home. Me and Ryan finally get along now and can be a family without being together for Lilly’s sake and hes always here for us.
Being a young mum was hard but having the people I did around me, made it so much easier. I was so scared that I was going to do everything wrong and when I had her the first night I hadn’t got a clue and to be honest the hospital weren’t much help with supporting me.. but as the week went on it got easier and I was getting the hang of things! For the first 3 months I struggled so much – Lilly had cmpa which took a few months to diagnose she was constantly upset and I was constantly crying because it was so difficult. I didn’t know what to do or what was wrong with her but since being put on special formula shes like a different baby. Its things like cmpa, reflux and colic no one tells you about and its so difficult when you just feel useless!
So many people do judge us young mums but then I just laugh at them because my child is just as looked after, just as loved and just as happy as someone who would have a baby at 40. I don’t understand why age should define your ability to look after or have a child. The main issues that young mums have to deal with is society and judgemental people but the only way to overcome that is to prove them wrong and just smile 🙂 it annoys them more not getting a reaction from you. The advantages I believe to being a young mum is that you get to spend more time with them in this world? my mum was only 19 when she had my brother, my nan was 19 when she had my mum so guess it was always in my genes?
I say to anyone that is a young mum that you will find the strength to fight back and prove every person that gives you a dirty look or says a comment that us young mums are so much more than them because we will grow up and teach our children not to judge people in the street which I believe some people clearly didn’t get taught. ?
You can find Lynsey on Instagram.